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    Just say 3 Hail Satans and do something mean to a...

    Just say 3 Hail Satans and do something mean to a kitten. (Twist its nose, I mean. We aren't old school these days.)
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    I'm with atheist local 37, and we caught our rep...

    I'm with atheist local 37, and we caught our rep -- our rep-- listening to a podcast on a Joel Osteen Inspirational Rechargeable Sound Cube. Caused a scandal that still hasn't stopped reverberating....
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    Prairie school-marm dresses. Still prized by a...

    Prairie school-marm dresses. Still prized by a certain class of evangelical home-schoolin' mas.
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    My favorite is that way they have of selling all...

    My favorite is that way they have of selling all their possessions, giving the money to the poor, cancelling their insurance policies, and living as free loaders on the road. Now that's sanctified.
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    Extremely well-stated. All of your points are...

    Extremely well-stated. All of your points are borne out in Caught in the Pulpit.
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    How did the little boy save the priest's life?...

    How did the little boy save the priest's life?
    He found a lump on his testicle.
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    "His truth will set you free"...my born-again...

    "His truth will set you free"...my born-again cousins, in my estimation, are anything but free. Their thinking is stunted. Their grasp of science is nonexistent.
    "His yoke is light"...(Luke 14) --...
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    If you are in seminary I am not writing your term...

    If you are in seminary I am not writing your term paper.
  9. But the Civil War was just about states' rights,...

    But the Civil War was just about states' rights, wasn't it? The white South didn't care if all the slaves walked free, did it? Surely they didn't think they'd done anything bad to their slaves?
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    Salt is pepper, and pepper is salt; that is all...

    Salt is pepper, and pepper is salt; that is all ye know and all ye need to know. - Prophet Selohssa, 316 CE.
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    Fine, but we're in the digital age. I want a...

    Fine, but we're in the digital age. I want a talking codpiece, one with a deep virile voice and laugh, and a generic midwest accent.

    Guy who's buying my sailboat: So, you'll take $5,000?
    Me:...
  12. The part about Pelosi and Hillary doing the...

    The part about Pelosi and Hillary doing the watusi naked during the midnight covens where the kidnapped children are divvied up for prostitution or for cannibalism?
  13. Here's what we learned, or shoulda learned from...

    Here's what we learned, or shoulda learned from 2016-present: democracy is not that robust an institution, not that foolproof a system, not that cemented, bolted, and buttressed as a structure. It...
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    I can't wait for the first Barbie to be made on...

    I can't wait for the first Barbie to be made on Mars!! I predict Hot Pants Martian Barbie will be the top-demand toy for Xmas '22. Anti-maskers need to get ready for the Movid-19 virus, which will...
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    Harkins is showing his boss his new ad poster for...

    Harkins is showing his boss his new ad poster for the Tite-Grip Nails account. He puts the poster on the easel and it shows Jesus on the cross with a smiling centurion in the foreground, saying,...
  16. I'm picturing the maid at Rudy's place finding...

    I'm picturing the maid at Rudy's place finding dark brown stains running across the pillows and converging on the sheets.
  17. I feel the same. It was considered a...

    I feel the same. It was considered a heart-catching coming of age story when it was released. To me, now, it seems less substantial, and it plays off the plot of Tea and Sympathy too much for...
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    A little hillbilly girl runs in the house from...

    A little hillbilly girl runs in the house from playing with her friends. She says, "Ma, is it true what Dwayne says? He says babies pop out where the boys stick their wieners. Is that true?"
    Her...
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    I can see Melania signing the forms and licensing...

    I can see Melania signing the forms and licensing Trump's cadaver to be fitted with pulleys, stretch rods, and a voice simulator so that he could be Mar-a-Lago's anthropomorphic greeter. ...
  20. If Rolfe P. Crum of Tulsa and the Bishop --...

    If Rolfe P. Crum of Tulsa and the Bishop -- BISHOP!!! -- of Oklahoma say it's so, well, by golly, you know you can take it to the bank. What motive would a white bishop (I'm still trying to absorb...
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    clown car

    clown car
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    Not only drained -- he's pushing this "I'll be...

    Not only drained -- he's pushing this "I'll be reinstated, sooner than you think" line. I know his followers swallow anything, so far, but, c'mon, aren't there limits? How long can they be pulled...
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    I did the same with a very buxom, giving,...

    I was constantly referred to psychologists as a child. Always due to "underperformance" at school. It never made me a "good student" but it did give me some insight into how people are not only...
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    What's the difference between a chick pea and a...

    What's the difference between a chick pea and a lima bean?
    Trump never paid $1000 to have a lima bean on his face.
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    Yahweh's Fawning Weasel (a term of distinction in...

    Yahweh's Fawning Weasel (a term of distinction in OT times.)
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