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  1. Jesus Fucking Tapdancing CHRIST. Please describe...

    Jesus Fucking Tapdancing CHRIST.
    Please describe for us the alternate universe where Republicans would accept from a Democrat Pres. what we're supposed to stomach from this orange asshat. ...
  2. By your thread title, I assumed you were under...

    By your thread title, I assumed you were under federal indictment and your lawyer told you to bring your toothbrush to court.
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    I'm not expecting the 33-34% to change -- it's...

    I'm not expecting the 33-34% to change -- it's those "independents" I'm referring to, who continually keep him up near 40. If you're in the 33% true believer class, you of course distrust the "fake...
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    He's already in complete defiance of the House,...

    He's already in complete defiance of the House, which is just as unlawful and egregious, and his approval number has stayed pretty constant since August (38 to 40%.) I keep expecting that number...
  5. If he lives into his nineties, he might want to...

    If he lives into his nineties, he might want to buy & try out scuba gear.
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    I'd like to defer to anyone to set up the next...

    I'd like to defer to anyone to set up the next pic. Thanks --
  7. Everyone, please stop this disrespectful &...

    Everyone, please stop this disrespectful & un-American bashing of the President -- OUR President -- and his valor. I'd like you all to remember what he said after the Parkland school massacre. Read...
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    Who's to say God doesn't have Alzheimers, by now?...

    Who's to say God doesn't have Alzheimers, by now? Divine Alzheimers, an occult subject unless you're a deity. Not treatable, even by divine physicians. The hovering angels are all nervous around...
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    At least partially because Liberty University has...

    At least partially because Liberty University has never been hit by a meteorite the size of, say, the one that created Vredefort Crater in S. Africa: somewhere between 6 to 9 miles in diameter,...
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    It's striking how early church "fathers" took...

    It's striking how early church "fathers" took positions that would make them insane outcasts today: St. Augustine was cool with flogging or banishing heretics; Calvin readily pushed to have heretics...
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    Before I became a Biblical scholar, I thought...

    Before I became a Biblical scholar, I thought Balaam's talking ass referred to a prophet who could fart phonemes.
    Good retell, BTW!
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    A Bridge Too Far

    A Bridge Too Far
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    And God forbid they should pay property tax. ...

    And God forbid they should pay property tax. But...you know...they want special rights.
  14. At this point, anyone who defends Trump does not...

    At this point, anyone who defends Trump does not understand the tale of the boy who cried wolf. Of course, that was true in 2012, when he was Birther Don.
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    Eyes Wide Shut

    Eyes Wide Shut
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    Heaven has both fleas and bedbugs, courtesy of...

    Heaven has both fleas and bedbugs, courtesy of ascetic, unhygienic Christian yogis, mystics, and eremites, and due to the lack of extermination businesses up there. (There are Starbucks. Too many,...
  17. This "investigation" is pure Republican...

    This "investigation" is pure Republican moonshine, suitable for asshats who believe all the conspiracies alleged by our unhinged "President". It's all for the sake of Emperor Donald, who actually...
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    Also, he's a master of dead-pan delivery. I...

    Also, he's a master of dead-pan delivery. I mean, Jeslenik has nothin' on Trump. The way he delivered his Colorado material, you couldn't actually tell he was just funning.
  19. My takeaway is, Wrap it up, guys. Nothing like...

    My takeaway is, Wrap it up, guys. Nothing like young 'uns to suck the will to live right outtaya.
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    Faith = No Loose Ends? Back around '80, Phyllis...

    Faith = No Loose Ends?
    Back around '80, Phyllis Schlafly came out with a ridiculous book called Child Abuse in the Classroom. (Among other horrible beliefs, she thought that chattel slavery in the...
  21. So I'm picturing a guy on 5th Avenue, crouching...

    So I'm picturing a guy on 5th Avenue, crouching behind a car, as Trump shoots at him (obviously, 'Spurs, having had no training on marksmanship, missed with his first 4 shots.) The guy calls the...
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    Family Ties

    Family Ties
  23. And Lindsey Graham, among others, is claiming...

    And Lindsey Graham, among others, is claiming that the WH summary of the "I need a favor, though" call is...proof of nothing! What absolute hypocrisy. Jawdropping. There is no alternate universe...
  24. I agree with Elixir at #9 above, but I think the...

    I agree with Elixir at #9 above, but I think the new term should be flushing. "This is a plot by the crazy Democrats and the Deep State to flush me out of America!! Well, they picked the wrong guy,...
  25. Trump thinks Colorado touches Mexico. Are we...

    Trump thinks Colorado touches Mexico. Are we good? Does that need a stronger punchline?
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