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    Get some of the survivors to volunteer via...

    Get some of the survivors to volunteer via Twitter. Any asshat dumb enough to attend a rally during an apocalypse plague will surely do some cross-country driving to cheer up their hero.
  2. You get a gold star from Fox News.

    You get a gold star from Fox News.
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    Your plan would work but would it be fair to his...

    Your plan would work but would it be fair to his fellow patients in various stages of therapy? I think we should sensitively consider:
    1) Those recovering from bipolar or delusional disorder, who...
  4. This is the American future, lurching from side...

    This is the American future, lurching from side to side like we are coursing down a slalom. Abrupt reversals after 4 or 8 years. Allies who can't tell who the hell we are as a nation. No effective...
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    Unfair -- it's morbid compulsive masturbation...

    Unfair -- it's morbid compulsive masturbation (MCM) after watching drone footage from Operation Iraqi Freedom.
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    Hope you're wrong. Hope so very much you're...

    Hope you're wrong.
    Hope so very much you're wrong.
    But because you might be right: the Founding Fathers can suck my balls.
    Talk about a system which contravenes the will of the electorate and...
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    Holy Jesus. Looks like Newman after he burned up...

    Holy Jesus. Looks like Newman after he burned up in the mail truck. "Once...twice...three times a laaaady...EEEYAHHHHHH!!!!"
    Oh the humanity.
    Or in this case, McTurtle.
  8. Can't Azamat get butt-naked again and body-slam...

    Can't Azamat get butt-naked again and body-slam Guiliani on a soiled mattress? I'd go to the cineplex for that, covid or no covid.
  9. Right. The corruption couldn't be clearer; it...

    Right. The corruption couldn't be clearer; it was reported at the time; it was done in public view; it didn't hurt the Trumps at all (except, I have to think, that it joins the thousands of other...
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    Kevin Roose's book about life at Liberty (The...

    Kevin Roose's book about life at Liberty (The Unlikely Disciple) portrays it as an extremely repressed, sublimated environment. If there are hellions, they are a small minority.
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    And you can't tell me that the conditioned...

    And you can't tell me that the conditioned acceptance of religious group-think doesn't lead to bizarre phenomena like Q-Anon, or the 'Anti-Vaxers' (it can't be spelled Anti-Vaccers, can it?) or...
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    An ornamental tree called the Bradford pear...

    An ornamental tree called the Bradford pear became popular for a time in the U.S. Lady Bird Johnson planted one in Washington back in '66. The payback comes in spring, as the flowers give off a...
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    Okay, I see it, but how can Republicans be short...

    Okay, I see it, but how can Republicans be short of campaign $$$? I thought the year started with all kinds of news stories about Trump's war chest. Was that the fake news? Anyone have a link to a...
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    Me too, and I would have been forced to request...

    Me too, and I would have been forced to request the veggie entrees at mess and in the MREs. And please, prepare any fried foods with canola or EVOO.
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    Sickening poll on MSNBC 5 min. ago: 50% of Trump...

    Sickening poll on MSNBC 5 min. ago: 50% of Trump supporters believe the claims of Q-Anon. Jesus, this won't go away fast.
    Sidebar: 5% of Biden supporters believe!!!! Those are the people I'd like...
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    col lu sion (n.) - secret or illegal cooperation...

    col lu sion (n.) - secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy, esp. in order to deceive or cheat others.

    I know, don't try to parse law with the dictionary definition. Webster's has alternative...
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    Yes. Did you miss the part about the non-drip...

    Yes. Did you miss the part about the non-drip semen collecting tray? And it's lo-cal.
  18. Papa gots to have his lottery tickets.

    Papa gots to have his lottery tickets.
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    Breaking now: Mike Pence was arrested in Indiana...

    Breaking now: Mike Pence was arrested in Indiana for nonconsentual masturbation. He turned himself in, and his testimony was "devastating". He told state troopers that he was alone, in his car, and...
  20. BTW, if you follow the link in the OP, you'll...

    BTW, if you follow the link in the OP, you'll find a more complete write-up on Rush's bad news broadcast that includes a tweet about it posted by the one and only Michael Savage (aka The Weiner):...
  21. Unfortunately, I saw the same -- it was my dad....

    Unfortunately, I saw the same -- it was my dad.
    On Rush's debit ledger, he used extended segments on countless shows to ramble on about the pleasures and allure of fine cigars, bragged about his...
  22. Back when I used to listen to him (20+ years...

    Back when I used to listen to him (20+ years back), he came on the day after Jerry Garcia died and saw fit to fashion a joke about it. ("Does he know he's dead?", a comment on Jerry's doping. This...
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    1. Trump gets on the debate stage, strides over...

    1. Trump gets on the debate stage, strides over to the flag, body hugs it (with a definite pelvic switch and pump), pulls the fabric off the flag pole, wraps it around his torso (adjusting his belt...
  24. I visited Joseph McCarthy's grave outside...

    I visited Joseph McCarthy's grave outside Appleton WI years ago...debated urinating with full feeling and intellect all over it...it was mid-morning and I decided not to, because of passing cars, and...
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    1. Tomatoes do not grow on trees (the tomato oak)...

    1. Tomatoes do not grow on trees (the tomato oak) and do not have to be harvested by ladder. Who knew?
    2. No part of the Toilet Duck is actually made from ducks.
    3. Hot 40s actress Lizabeth Scott...
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