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Thread: a novel poetic form used for trump bashing

  1. Top | #61
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    Shutdown-Man, Shutdown-Man,
    Funds whatever a Shutdown can
    Spins a yarn, any size,
    Catches flak, just like flies
    Look Out!
    Here comes the Shutdown-Man.

    Is he winning?
    Listen bud,
    He's got ex-Pres support.
    Can he claim emergency powers?
    Take a look at his lawyers
    Hey, there
    There goes the Shutdown-Man.

    In his mind, workers rave
    Except the Democrats, won't behave.
    Like a wall of thick cement
    He backs to slats that only dent.

    Shutdown-Man, Shutdown-Man
    Friendly neighborhood Shutdown-Man
    Facts and Figures,
    He's ignored
    Chaos is his reward.

    To him, life is a great big wall up
    Wherever there's a whallop
    You'll find the Shutdown-Man.

  2. Top | #62
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    Trunp Humor

    Humpty Trumpty said México would pay
    for a great big wall.
    Mexico said no fucking way.
    not at all.
    If the wall never goes and Trumptey takes a fall,
    all his sycophants and hiss ass licking men will never put
    Trumpty together again.

  3. Top | #63
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    Did Donald post this originally? He misspelled his own name. (Like 'hamberders' and 'countrty' in recent sweet-tweets.)

  4. Top | #64
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    The Ballad of Cheato

    (based on The Ballad of Irving -Frank Gallop)

    He was short and fat, and rode into the West
    With a wall blueprint held close to his chest
    He was mean and nasty right clear through
    Which was kinda weird, 'cause he was yellow, too
    They called him Cheato
    Big Cheato
    Big, short Cheato
    Big, short, fat Cheato
    The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West
    He came from the old Mar-A-Lago lands
    Built and cleaned by undocumented hands
    He always obeyed the rule of crooks
    Even on campaign he used two sets of books
    Cheato
    Big, fat Cheato
    Big sissy Cheato
    The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West
    A hundred and forty-one could draw faster than he
    But Cheato was looking for one forty-three
    Walked into Congress like a man insane
    And ordered three fingers of taxpayer's gains
    Cheato .
    Big, fat Cheato .
    Big sport Cheato .
    The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

    One day Bad Nancy happened into town.
    Her aim was to shoot fat Cheato down.
    Bad Nance said, "Draw, and draw right now!"
    And Cheato drew, drew a picture of a cow.

    Cheato .
    Big, fat Cheato .
    Big gunfighter Cheato .
    The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

    The Mueller Boys was comin' on a train at first sun,
    And the Reps said, "Cheato, we need your gun."
    When that train pulled in at the break of dawn,
    Cheato's gun was there, but Cheato was gone.

    Cheato .
    Big, fat Cheato .
    Big help, Cheato .
    The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.

    Well, finally Cheato got three tweets in the belly.
    It was right outside the Frontier Deli.
    He was sittin' there twirlin' his phone around,
    And butterfingers Cheato gunned himself down!

    Cheato .
    Big, fat Cheato .
    Big dum-dum Cheato .
    Big dum-dum dead Cheato .
    The hundred and forty-second fastest gun in the West.
    Really.

  5. Top | #65
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    Shitgibbon Blues
    By Dr Suess

    The orange shitgibbon was born in New York.
    Delivered by Limo, too good for a stork.
    Raised by a landlord with a strong racist bent,
    Who evicted the black folks by raising their rent.

    “Look at me, look at me, look at me!” he would scream
    “I’m a real stable genius – this isn’t a dream!
    “I make lots of money, I make lots of deals,
    and trust me – I won’t let you miss any meals!”

    So then the shitgibbon was chosen to lead,
    despite that he never had learned how to read.
    The faithful lined up, hot to answer the call,
    they all started chanting “Build that wall! Build that wall!”

    Suddenly something surprising occurred -
    They started to realize just what a turd
    The shitgibbon was, and always had been.
    “He’s just a big zero, he isn’t a ten!”

    But sadly, by then it was far far too late,
    as the shitgibbon’s actions were sealing their fate.
    To distract from the fact he was fucking a whore,
    He opted for starting a nuclear war.

    “The Russians will save us, ‘cause they’re on our side!”
    he kept saying, though everyone knew that he lied.
    “Lock him up!” they were chanting, right up to the end,
    “We never did like him, it was only pretend!”

  6. Top | #66
    Loony Running The Asylum ZiprHead's Avatar
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    Wow! That was great! Good job.

    ETA: I posted that to the "FU Trump" FB group with a link to the forum. Hopefully it will get some eyeballs here and maybe a new member or two.
    ITMFA

    When conservatives realize they cannot win democratically, they will not abandon conservatism. They will abandon democracy.

    You submit to tyranny when you renounce truth. - Timothy Snyder

  7. Top | #67
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    Remember when I ran for Prez,
    And I got on my knees
    And warned you that President Hill
    would go berserk?

    Well you believed me
    And then the days got worse and worse
    And now you see I've gone
    Completely out of my mind

    And they'll never take me away ha-haaa
    They'll never take me away ho-ho hee-hee ha-haaa
    To the funny farm
    Where life is beautiful all the time
    And I'll be happy to see those nice white men
    In their clean white coats
    And they'll never take me away ha-haaa

    You thought I was a joke
    And so you laughed
    You laughed when you voted
    And then those laughs got caught in your throat, huh?

    Right?
    You know you laughed
    I heard you laugh, you laughed
    You laughed and laughed and then you left
    But now you know I'm utterly mad

    And they'll never take me away ha-haaa
    They'll never take me away ho-ho hee-hee ha-haaa
    To the funny farm
    Where life is beautiful all the time
    And I'll be happy to see those nice white men
    In their clean white coats
    And they'll never take me away ha-haaa

    I stacked your courts
    I bitched your House
    And this is how you pay me back
    For all my kind unselfish, loving Executive Orders?
    Ha! Well you just wait
    We'll find you yet and when they do
    They'll put you in the A.S.P.C.A.
    You mangy journalists

    And they'll never take me away ha-haaa
    They'll never take me away ho-ho hee-hee ha-haaa
    To the funny farm
    Where life is beautiful all the time
    And I'll be happy to see those nice white men
    In their clean white coats
    And they'll never take me away ha-haaa

    And they'll never take me away ha-haaa
    They'll never take me away ho-ho hee-hee ha-haaa
    To the funny farm
    Where life is beautiful all the time
    And I'll be happy to see those nice white men
    In their clean white coats
    And they'll never take me away ha-haaa


    ....huh. Kinda weird how few words actually had to be changed...

  8. Top | #68
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    Anyone remember "We didn't start the fire?"

    Pocahontas, Fake News, SNL losing viewers,
    Crooked Hill, Tax Bill, Gotta build a Wall
    Stormy Daniels, Cohen’s weak, ISIS future looking bleak,
    Bleeding from her everywhere, gotta take this call
    Roseanne Barr, who cares, tax returns, who dares,
    North Korea, South Korea, Tariffs on the way,
    Remember only I can, get us through Afghanistan,
    War crime, pardon time, critics blown away

    I am a stable genius,
    And if that’s iffy, you can all covfefe
    I’m am your favorite,
    But two years were stollen, by the dems who’ve fallen

  9. Top | #69
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    Bonespur-Doodle went to airport,
    Just to see the Brits fly,
    Stuck covefe in his cap
    And Maverick did a fly-by.

    (Chorus)
    Bonespur-Doodle keep it up
    Bonespur-Doodle Dandy
    Mind the music and the step
    And with the girls be a felony.

    Ivanka and I went down to camp
    Along with Captain Wintress.
    There were all the men and boys
    And none would talk to Princess.

    (Chorus)
    Bonespur-Doodle keep it up
    Bonespur-Doodle Dandy
    Mind the music and the step
    And with the girls be a felony.

    And there were tanks in Washington
    And Valley Forge had silos
    Minute Men with Minute-sixteens
    Deploying from their helos

    (Chorus)
    Bonespur-Doodle keep it up
    Bonespur-Doodle Dandy
    Mind the music and the step
    And with the girls be a felony.

  10. Top | #70
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    Trump, who leads the free world
    Has had a week emotionally whirled.
    Greenland can't be obtained,
    So he's no reason to visit the Danes.

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