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Thread: Parenting...How did you find out you were going to be?

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    Elder Contributor Keith&Co.'s Avatar
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    Parenting...How did you find out you were going to be?

    (Or, how did you break the news?)

    When my wife and I first got married, sjhe wanted kids. I wanted dogs. We settled on three. Either three dogs, or three kids, or some combination.

    About a year after the wedding, I got a call at work. She told me I was down to two dogs. I said okay, and hung up. Then I started bitching. Damn, I was mad. She just arbitrarily decided to change the agreed upon number on me. No discussion, just 'this is changed.'

    My fellow instructors watched me rant for a while, then I explained the deal. THEY got it. "So, if you're down to two dogs, does that mean you're up by one kid?"

    Called her back. She giggled. "Did you figure it out or did someone knock you upside the head?"

    I had to admit, "Well, there's a reason you're on speaker right now... The head knockers wanted to listen in."

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    Elder Contributor Keith&Co.'s Avatar
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    A friend of mine went to sea on the sub, came back, and when his wife picked him up at the pier announced that they were pregnant.

    We've all heard the stories. Go to sea for a long deployment, come back after 3 months underwater to find your wife 2 months pregnant... And I guess they'd been teasing one of the junior kids about that very thing. So that's where his mind was when he heard the news.
    Instant response was to ask, "Are you sure it's mine?"
    "WHAT?! How could it NOT be yours?"
    "Well, you weren't pregnant when I left...!"

    She, of course, was not expecting this, because they weren't actually deployed on a deterrent patrol. They were testing a piece of equipment. They had been to sea for 5 days.

    So there they were, on the side of the road, having a little biology lesson at the top of their lungs.

    He's calibrated now, though.

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    Super Moderator Bronzeage's Avatar
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    Family planning has always been a mystery to me. Babies are just something that happens. I've had friends who have a five year calendar with a month sometime in the future circled in red and the only mystery is boy or girl. I suppose that has it's benefits.

    When I became an newly minted bachelor in my 30's, I sat down and took stock of my situation. The statistics were stark. Every woman who had at least one month's unprotected sex with me, became pregnant. From that point on, I took control of my family planning.

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    Well, the first time I kidnapped a hitchhiker and locked her up in my basement to become my sex slave, I forgot to buy condoms. Rookie mistake, I know, but what can you do?

    But at least I was able to experience the joy of holding my son in my arms and then I also got a nice meal, so everything worked out in the end.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Sawyer View Post
    Well, the first time I kidnapped a hitchhiker and locked her up in my basement to become my sex slave, I forgot to buy condoms. Rookie mistake, I know, but what can you do?

    But at least I was able to experience the joy of holding my son in my arms and then I also got a nice meal, so everything worked out in the end.
    I had a similar experience, but minus the kidnapping, slave, meal stuff... and it was in a doctor's office.

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    Cyborg with a Tiara
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    You got pregnant in a doctor’s office!?

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    Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhea View Post
    You got pregnant in a doctor’s office!?
    The wait times can be really long. Gotta do something.

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    Trojan explosion. Rhymes with baby lotion.

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    Maury Povich broke the news to me.

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    Cyborg with a Tiara
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    Mine were absolutely not a surprise. We were taking temps daily while trying to get pregnant, so you can know in a matter of days - about 10 for us. The only surprise at that point is if you are STILL pregnant by 2 weeks or has a spontaneous abortion (miscarriage). If my temps went back down by day 11, not pregnant. Most times, though, I felt the extreme fatigue first. So my husband would wake up when he heard the thermometer beep. “And?” He’d ask. “Still 98 - we’re good so far,” I’d reply, or, “97.5 - that’s a scrap. Study up for next try in two weeks.” So he’d know withn minutes of when I knew. But we did learn in time how many miscarriages happen (a lot) and to not say anything to anyone until we got to 3 months. Though friends were not fooled when we went to a giant blues concert and my husband had a six pack of beer and I had a six-pac of Ensure.

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