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Thread: And she called me stupid

  1. Top | #11
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    In a casual arrangement such as this, I would hang on to the $200 until I was asked for it. When asked, I would pay back $100 and explain I am withholding the other $100 as it is being used to pay a long overdue debt of $100. Then I would promise myself never to lend or borrow from that person again.

  2. Top | #12
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    I would need more info about the situation in which I borrowed the money. How come I did that? Why am I still speaking to her? Is she a close family member? Is there any other reason to talk to her? I can imagine very unrealistic hypothetical scenarios in which I would borrow money from her, but then, the hypotheses in many of the scenarios play a role on whether I give her the $200 back, or $100, or $0, and only $100 a couple of months later.

  3. Top | #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by abaddon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by fromderinside View Post
    Never lend to those with whom you expect to converse in the future.
    This. Or go ahead and lend the money, but be sure you're 100% ok with just letting the debt slide when the disagreements about payback come up.

    To me, the name-calling between friends would be the bigger deal than the money. There's no way I'd tolerate it. My friendships have an unbreakable condition on them: it's mutual respect, or BYE.
    https://images.app.goo.gl/7sV1wJzJioAQTQibA

  4. Top | #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angra Mainyu View Post
    I would need more info about the situation in which I borrowed the money. How come I did that? Why am I still speaking to her? Is she a close family member? Is there any other reason to talk to her? I can imagine very unrealistic hypothetical scenarios in which I would borrow money from her, but then, the hypotheses in many of the scenarios play a role on whether I give her the $200 back, or $100, or $0, and only $100 a couple of months later.
    I think you’re overthinking it when you want to consider how the situation came to be. It doesn’t matter one iota. If you said you were gonna pay it back and no strings were spoken of, then barring unforeseen reasons, neither post hoc rationale nor preagreement circumstances alter your moral obligation to do as you said you would.

  5. Top | #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by TSwizzle View Post
    In a casual arrangement such as this, I would hang on to the $200 until I was asked for it. When asked, I would pay back $100 and explain I am withholding the other $100 as it is being used to pay a long overdue debt of $100. Then I would promise myself never to lend or borrow from that person again.
    What does it being casual have to do with anything? It doesn’t give you a moral pass to shrewdly balance the books.

  6. Top | #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by abaddon View Post
    This. Or go ahead and lend the money, but be sure you're 100% ok with just letting the debt slide when the disagreements about payback come up.
    I disagree with the first one-worded sentence, but I agree with the next one.

  7. Top | #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treedbear View Post
    I don't get the idea that she had $200 available to lend to you or possibly to someone else but she didn't have the $100 available to pay you back. Something's missing from the equation. And it doesn't seem like this all is about what's legally justified. It was a handshake agreement based on personal trust.
    I’m not speaking on what may or may not be legal but rather what is or isn’t right.

    Some would hold that a man’s word is his bond, and if two of that kind are dealing, never would a written contract be necessary—at least not for as something as simple as this.

    If my best friend (J) in the whole wide world told me you (T) were as trustworthy as the day is long and yet you didn’t pay me back the $100 I lent you, I have no need to even ask why you haven’t, for if my friend is correct, you have a justified reason for why you didn’t pay me as agreed. If I later go to you for $200, my friend has nothing to fear about what it is I’m going to do when it comes time for me to repay you.

  8. Top | #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhea View Post
    I would definitely have said something. Like “Do you want me to just pay back the $100 so we’re even up now? I’m prepared to pay what I borrowed, but if you want to use the opportunity to square up, let me know.”

    I wouldn’t say “stupid”, but I would definitely have used the opportunity to discuss.
    Best reply and course of action.

  9. Top | #19
    Fair dinkum thinkum bilby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by abaddon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by fromderinside View Post
    Never lend to those with whom you expect to converse in the future.
    This. Or go ahead and lend the money, but be sure you're 100% ok with just letting the debt slide when the disagreements about payback come up.

    To me, the name-calling between friends would be the bigger deal than the money. There's no way I'd tolerate it. My friendships have an unbreakable condition on them: it's mutual respect, or BYE.
    Ha!

    If my mates DIDN'T call me rude names, I would know they weren't real friends.

    The stronger the insults, the stronger the friendship. Only your best mate would call you a cunt and not expect a broken nose.

    It's an Australian thing. I wouldn't advise trying it until you have been here a LONG time, unless you are very good at either fighting or running.

    Oh, and never lend money to a friend unless you are prepared to forget either the debt or the relationship.

  10. Top | #20
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    Edited out

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