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Thread: Things that make you laugh...

  1. Top | #2641
    Elder Contributor Keith&Co.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paladin.oa View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Keith&Co. View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sarpedon View Post
    I can't believe that story. How many floor joists did they have to saw through? That's hard work. And a carpet wouldn't cover up a sagging floor.
    I asked Jamie for details.
    Turns out it's not Jamie's story. It's Bob's. Why Jamie told it first person is unclear.

    So it's friend of a friend stuff. But i can imagine Bob taking a chainsaw to his own floor for a cabinet...
    Wait, they used a fracking chainsaw to cut the hole in the floor?!?
    I don't kniw, but if Bob and alcohols were involved anything is possible.

    Bob was on the opposite crew of a friend of mine. They pulled into port and started turnover. After 2 months at sea, Bob was excitedvto go ashore and call his wjfe.
    Comes back to the division, and where both crews could hear him, announces, "Guess what?! When i get home, my wife says we can try anal!"
    Dead silence...until 1 guy asks, 'Did your wife buy a strap-on?'
    "Um...i don't know?"
    "Think you should find that out before you celebrate?"
    "Good idea!"runs out. Comes back five minutes later. "Nope. She means i get to do her in the ass, not the other way around." Again, loud enough for ten, twelve missile techs to hear....
    Congrats, Bob.

  2. Top | #2642
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    Did the cabinets work with the insane cutting?

    Because in the real world the height of the room usually isn't perfectly uniform. What would fit in one place might not fit in another. You always leave a bit of space to be covered by molding because of this. Despite working with construction people for ages I forgot that when I installed a light above a window. It's visibly out of alignment with the window--the light is level, the window is not.

  3. Top | #2643
    Veteran Member Sarpedon's Avatar
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    And how did they get it in the front door? Or down the stairs to the basement? Most houses' basements have a lower ceiling height than the main floor. Sorry, this isn't a real story.

  4. Top | #2644
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarpedon View Post
    And how did they get it in the front door? Or down the stairs to the basement? Most houses' basements have a lower ceiling height than the main floor. Sorry, this isn't a real story.
    You carry them in horizontally. No big deal unless you have some tight turns involved. (You have to consider what the stairs are like when putting tall cabinets on anything but the ground floor.)

    The only cabinets which are problematic in going through doors are base corner cabinets (or conceivably tall corner cabinets but I have never seen one despite working with cabinet factories for a quarter century.) Everything else will be no more than 24 inches deep, going through the door this is the width, the height becomes the length and the width becomes the height, no problem. (While in theory you could have a 8' length of 7' high cabinets that would never be done because it's too heavy.)

  5. Top | #2645
    Elder Contributor Keith&Co.'s Avatar
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    Sorry, further details would require talking to Bob. I always want to shower after talking to Bob.

  6. Top | #2646
    Veteran Member Sarpedon's Avatar
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    Are you suggesting they got them into the kitchen, but found they couldn't stand them up, so then decided to take them out of the kitchen, downstairs, where they couldn't stand them up either, then cut a hole in the floor, bigger than the minimum because then they'd have to because they need extra clearance to stand them up, only to get the cabinets back where they were before, only stood up?

    I'm sorry, can't believe it. No one is that stupid. That is 10 times more work than is necessary.

    Just cut the base and toekick off the cabinet, stand it up, rebuild a toekick on the floor where they want the cabinets, and set the cabinets there. I can believe stupidity, I just can't believe a stupid person would do 10 times more work than a half-ass but smart solution would be. Even an idiot wouldn't move the cabinet from where it belonged, but would knock off a portion of it to make it fit. He might not knock off the correct part, but he'd knock something off rather than do all that crap.

    Ask Jamie to talk to Bob.

  7. Top | #2647
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarpedon View Post
    Are you suggesting they got them into the kitchen, but found they couldn't stand them up, so then decided to take them out of the kitchen, downstairs, where they couldn't stand them up either, then cut a hole in the floor, bigger than the minimum because then they'd have to because they need extra clearance to stand them up, only to get the cabinets back where they were before, only stood up?

    I'm sorry, can't believe it. No one is that stupid. That is 10 times more work than is necessary.

    Just cut the base and toekick off the cabinet, stand it up, rebuild a toekick on the floor where they want the cabinets, and set the cabinets there. I can believe stupidity, I just can't believe a stupid person would do 10 times more work than a half-ass but smart solution would be. Even an idiot wouldn't move the cabinet from where it belonged, but would knock off a portion of it to make it fit. He might not knock off the correct part, but he'd knock something off rather than do all that crap.

    Ask Jamie to talk to Bob.
    Knocking off the toe kick works fine if you don't have a finished side. If you do it leaves an exposed cut.

  8. Top | #2648
    Veteran Member Wiploc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paladin.oa View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Keith&Co. View Post
    But i can imagine Bob taking a chainsaw to his own floor for a cabinet...[emphasis added]
    Wait, they used a fracking chainsaw to cut the hole in the floor?!?
    Probably used a circle saw. But Keith can imagine Bob using a chainsaw if he was drunk.

    -

    Quote Originally Posted by Loren Pechtel View Post
    Did the cabinets work with the insane cutting?

    Because in the real world the height of the room usually isn't perfectly uniform. What would fit in one place might not fit in another. You always leave a bit of space to be covered by molding because of this. Despite working with construction people for ages I forgot that when I installed a light above a window. It's visibly out of alignment with the window--the light is level, the window is not.
    Let's say the ceiling is eight foot, and the cabinet is somewhere around seven foot ten. That leaves plenty of room to shift the cabinet around after standing it up, but doesn't leave enough room to stand it up.

    I'm hoping for a final punchline, where they realize that instead of cutting a hole in the ceiling, they could have just popped one of the panels in the drop ceiling.

    -

    Before anyone asks, no, we have no reason to believe that Bob has a drop ceiling.

    -

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarpedon View Post
    And how did they get it in the front door? Or down the stairs to the basement? Most houses' basements have a lower ceiling height than the main floor. Sorry, this isn't a real story.

    Think of something like a grandfather's clock. Only wider. As much as four foot wide.

    Seven foot ten tall, one foot deep, two or four foot wide. Carried on its side, that fits easily thru the door.

    It didn't go to the basement. It went to the kitchen. It was too tall and deep to stand up in the kitchen, so--instead of raising the kitchen ceiling, they lowered the floor.

    If you remove 3/4 in of flooring material, that might make all the difference. If that doesn't suffice, you can dip the rear/bottom edge of the cabinet into the space between joists during rotation. That ought to do it.

    -

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarpedon View Post
    Are you suggesting they got them into the kitchen, but found they couldn't stand them up, so then decided to take them out of the kitchen, downstairs, where they couldn't stand them up either, then cut a hole in the floor, bigger than the minimum because then they'd have to because they need extra clearance to stand them up, only to get the cabinets back where they were before, only stood up?
    That's a wonderful image, but I don't think anyone's suggesting that.




    I'm sorry, can't believe it. No one is that stupid.
    I don't believe your version either.

    But, no one is that stupid? I've known people who had some stunningly stupid moments.

    -

    Apropos of nothing, an anecdote:

    My new house had storm windows but no screens. So, come spring, we ordered a set of screens from local craftsmen. They came out and measured, and went away to build the screens.

    When they delivered, one of the screens was a rhombus rather than a rectangle. It didn't fit. The guys apologized and said they'd build another one.

    I said, "Wait a moment." I grabbed the top of the screen and pulled so that it became a rectangle. Now it fit perfectly.

    The craftsmen grinned up at me, and one of them said, "That's why you're the lawyer."

    -

    Note: I'm not a lawyer, nor am I representing myself to be a lawyer. I'm retired. I used to tell people I was a recovering attorney, but, now that I let my license lapse, I am fully recovered.
    Last edited by Wiploc; 12-14-2019 at 04:43 AM.

  9. Top | #2649
    Loony Running The Asylum ZiprHead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keith&Co. View Post
    Sorry, further details would require talking to Bob. I always want to shower after talking to Bob.
    "Talking to Bob." Sounds like a metaphor for taking a crap.
    When conservatives realize they cannot win democratically, they will not abandon conservatism. They will abandon democracy.

  10. Top | #2650
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    This whole cabinet story has all the signs of being an urban legend. I just checked Snopes. Nothing...so far.

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