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Thread: Crazy Bible Stories

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    Veteran Member James Brown's Avatar
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    The Sons of God impregnating the Daughters of Men, giving birth to giants. (Gen 6:2-4)

    Lot's daughters getting their father drunk, having sex with him (twice in as many nights) and becoming pregnant.

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    Senior Member OLDMAN's Avatar
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    Romans 9:13 God hated Esau before he was born... sounds fair.

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    Contributor Cheerful Charlie's Avatar
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    Genesis 2. God creates animals for Adam to find him a "helpmeet". Tyrannosauruses, and platypuses. Mammoths and elephant shrews.
    Stegosauruses and field mice. God, maker of a vast Universe cannot figure this out and is a right goofball.
    Cheerful Charlie

  4. Top | #14
    Cyborg with a Tiara
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    I like the one in Exodus,where the god kills all the animals in a plague, then gives them all boils in the next plague, then hits them with hail in the plague after that. Dude. They were dead.

    But you students could create diaramas for this.

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    Elder Contributor DBT's Avatar
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    The undefeatable Iron Chariots. Too much for the Creator of the Universe to handle....

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    Formerly Joedad
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    The way to make a woman is to take a rib from a guy.

  7. Top | #17
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    6 And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
    7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.

    And so our loving god, who sees to us as his children, said... when he saw how well they were doing... 'well this shit needs to stop!'

    Much like how I teach my daughter how to do math wrong so that she will never be smarter than me. Don't we all?

  8. Top | #18
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    Moses and the Hebrews wandering in circles for 40 years in the area roughly between Cairo and Plasticine without being seen or leaving any evidence is pretty strange. They must have been really bored.

    Talking snakes.

    The Ark is a strange story, it must have quickly stunk to 'high heaven' to to speak. And all the rotting plant material and carcasses when the flood receded.

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    It could depend on the sediment accumulation in such a flood, which would bury pretty much everything. Would be quite a lot of very deep digging for the future archeoligists looking for bones, I suspect.

    Some good indivdual topic ideas, nice one.

  10. Top | #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Learner View Post
    It could depend on the sediment accumulation in such a flood, which would bury pretty much everything. Would be quite a lot of very deep digging for the future archeoligists looking for bones, I suspect.

    Some good indivdual topic ideas, nice one.
    Geologists have been investigating the earth's crust for a long time, and they have found all sorts of things. For example, they have found evidence of a meteor strike from 65 million years ago, all across the globe, which is the event that is believed to have caused a mass extinction on the planet that included the dinosaurs. Guess what geologists haven't found? Evidence for a global flood within the past 5,000 years or so that could be tied to the Biblical flood story. Amazing, right?

    But it doesn't end there. An extinction event of the magnitude of the Biblical flood would have been obvious in the genomes of all living things that experienced this extreme population bottleneck (a family of humans and two animals of each kind). That evidence does not exist either. We can identify population bottlenecks in humans from 100,000 years ago when the population had dropped to just 30,000 or so individuals, but there's nothing from 4,000 years ago when the population had dropped to just a handful of people? Its almost as if the global flood story isn't true.

    Getting called out repeatedly for posting nonsense like this would be embarrassing to most people, but not to you apparently.

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