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Thread: Coping with Isolation

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    Administrator lpetrich's Avatar
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    Coping with Isolation

    This is relevant for surviving coronavirus-related lockdowns.

    Emily Lakdawalla on Twitter: "Really good advice thread from a sailor on coping with confinement and isolation from loved ones. https://t.co/B3WvX5QwQK" / Twitter
    noting
    Andoni 🔻 on Twitter: "Tengo experiencia en eso de no poder salir. ..." / Twitter
    Tengo experiencia en eso de no poder salir. Soy marino, y una de las características que tiene mi trabajo es precisamente esa, que nos pasamos muchos meses sin poder salir de nuestro centro de trabajo. Es muy parecido a lo que ahora os pasa a todos, y os voy a dar unos consejos.

    El primero y más importante: busca que hacer. Lo peor con diferencia cuando estamos en la mar, es cuando no tenemos trabajo. Mientras estás haciendo algo, no tienes a la mente haciendo trastadas y comiéndote el coco.

    Me es igual que ese algo sea deporte (que se puede hacer mucho sin salir), lectura, estudiar, aprovechar para reparar ese grifo que lleva meses goteando... Lo que sea. Pero hazlo.

    Muy importante: no te aisles. Parece una contradicción, pero es así. Cuando estamos en la mar, las llamadas a casa son vitales para mantener la moral. También son vitales para la persona que está en casa, y que echa de menos a su pareja-hermano-amigo o lo que sea.

    Estando en casa, si estás solo, habla con los tuyos, por teléfono, por internet, o por señales de humo, lo que sea, pero mantén el contacto a diario. Es mucho más importante de lo que parece. Y si no estás solo, apóyate y apoya a los que estén contigo.

    Si tienes a tu pareja en casa, aprovecha para conocerla. No es ningún chiste. Cuando estás aislado con otra gente, les conoces fuera de su zona de confort, y te das cuenta como son en realidad. Es triste, pero conozco mejor a algunos compañeros de trabajo que a mi familia.

    Si surge un problema de convivencia, que surgirá, no lo evites, soluciónalo. La m***** huele más, cuanto más tiempo lleve tapada. Ojo, no estoy diciendo que te ahosties con tu pareja. Digo que hables con ella.

    Si el problema de convivencia verdaderamente no tiene solución, hay que pasar al plan b: déjalo estar. El aislamiento siempre acaba, y entonces llega la solución, con ayuda. Y si la cosa no va, siempre queda una opción.

    Tanto si estás sólo, como especialmente si estás acompañado, hay una cosa que parece una broma, pero no lo es: dúchate a diario. Os sorprendería la cantidad de gente que se abandona desde el punto de vista de la limpieza. Y afecta.

    Limita el tiempo ante pantallas, sean de tv, ordenador o móvil. No digo que no veas alguna serie o película. Digo que no te pases todo el día delante del ordenador. Es una evasión útil, y en algunos momentos viene bien, pero el abuso aísla. Y el aislamiento, afecta.

    No pasa nada por beberse una cerveza de vez en cuando, pero no te refugies en el alcohol. No se trata de salvarse del coronavirus para morir de cirrosis. Hoy en día en muchos barcos hay ley seca, precisamente por qué no hace mucho este trabajo estaba lleno de alcohólicos.

    Y quién dice alcohol, dice cualquier otra droga. No voy a ser yo el que os diga que no os fumeis nunca un txustarro, lo que digo es que no lo hagáis más a menudo de lo que lo hacéis habitualmente. Abusos, los mínimos.

    Tampoco abuseis de la comida. Parece otra broma, pero tampoco lo es. Cuando la gente se aburre hace más visitas a la nevera de lo habitual. Os lo digo yo que peso más de 100 kilos. Si os gusta cocinar, cocinad, pero si estáis 2, cocinad para 2.

    Dormid las mismas horas que de costumbre. Si no echáis siesta habitualmente, no lo hagáis ahora. El cuerpo se acostumbra a dormir un número de horas x, y si le sacas de esa rutina luego cuesta mucho volver a ella.

    Además, si echáis una siesta larga, luego cuesta horrores dormir en condiciones a la noche, y no hay nada peor que estar haciendo teletecho.

    Aunque parezca mentira que haya que decirlo, ten en cuenta que no vives sólo en el planeta. Esa tele con el programa de Ana Rosa y el volumen a tope molesta a los vecinos. Tuve un compañero de trabajo que me ponía Pink Floyd a diario a un volumen exagerado,

    Yo dormía en el camarote de al lado y no podía ni pensar cuando estaba allí. Una noche mientras él estaba de guardia cayó agua al aparato de música. Nunca se supo de donde vino el agua, pero el resto de la campaña se me hizo más corta.

    No pongas fechas. Siempre plantéate que vas a volver a la normalidad en más tiempo del previsto. Si te mentalizas en que todo acaba el 1 de abril, y luego se alarga al 5, esos 4 días son un infierno.

    A la contra, no sucede. Si te mentalizas en que vuelves a la normalidad el 5, y al final todo acaba el 3, esos días son un regalo.

    No te plantees como una desgracia estar encerrado. Aprovecha el momento, vívelo como algo que no puedes cambiar, pero si puedes convertir en una experiencia nueva. Y cuando salgas, disfruta.

    Añado una cosita que no mencioné porque aquí, en la mar, la rutina es algo que se da por supuesto, pero en un caso como el actual, hay que creárselo, hay que imponerse una disciplina.

    Parece que esto se ha hecho viral (sin segundas intenciones), así que voy a aprovechar para soltar el mensaje. No olvidéis estos días. Está bien aplaudir a los sanitarios, pero está mejor ayudarlos en su lucha por mantener viva la sanidad, pública y de calidad.

    Y eso, todos sabéis cómo se logra.

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    Administrator lpetrich's Avatar
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    Twitter's autotranslator with a tiny edit:
    I have experience in not being able to go out. I am a sailor, and one of the characteristics that my work has is precisely that, that we spent many months without being able to leave our workplace. It is very similar to what happens to all of you now, and I am going to give you some advice.

    The first and most important: find what to do. By far the worst thing when we are at sea is when we don't have a job. While you are doing something, you do not have the mind doing tricks and eating the coconut.

    It is the same to me that something be sports (that you can do a lot without going out), reading, studying, taking advantage to repair that tap that has been leaking for months ... Whatever. But do it.

    Very important: do not isolate yourself. It seems like a contradiction, but it is so. When we are at sea, home calls are vital to maintaining morale. They are also vital for the person who is at home, and who misses his partner-brother-friend or whatever.

    Being at home, if you are alone, talk to yours, on the phone, on the internet, or by smoke signals, whatever, but keep in touch daily. It is much more important than it seems. And if you are not alone, lean and support those who are with you.

    If you have your partner at home, take the opportunity to meet her. It is not a joke. When you are isolated from other people, you meet them outside their comfort zone, and you realize how they really are. It's sad, but I know some coworkers better than I know my family.

    If a problem of coexistence arises, which will arise, do not avoid it, solve it. The s*** It smells more, the longer it has been covered. Mind you, I'm not saying that you choke on your partner. I say talk to her.

    If the problem of coexistence really does not have a solution, you have to go to plan b: let it be. Isolation always ends, and then the solution comes, with help. And if things do not go, there is always an option.

    Whether you are alone, or especially if you are accompanied, there is one thing that seems like a joke, but it is not: take a shower every day. You would be surprised at the number of people who abandon themselves from the point of view of cleanliness. And it affects.

    Limit time on screens, be they on TV, computer or mobile. I'm not saying you don't watch a series or movie. I say don't spend all day in front of the computer. It is a useful evasion, and at times it comes in handy, but the abuse isolates. And isolation affects.

    There's nothing wrong with drinking a beer once in a while, but don't take refuge in alcohol. It is not about saving yourself from the coronavirus to die of cirrhosis. Today on many ships there is a dry law, precisely why not long ago this work was full of alcoholics.

    And who says alcohol, says any other drug. I'm not going to be the one to tell you not to ever smoke a txustarro, what I'm saying is that you don't do it more often than you usually do. Abuses, the minimum.

    Don't abuse food either. It seems like another joke, but neither is it. When people get bored they make more visits to the fridge than usual. I tell you that I weigh more than 100 kilos. If you like to cook, cook, but if you are 2, cook for 2.

    Sleep the same hours as usual. If you don't nap regularly, don't nap now. The body gets used to sleeping a number of hours x, and if you get out of that routine then it is very difficult to return to it.

    Also, if you take a long nap, then it costs horrors to sleep in conditions at night, and there is nothing worse than being tele-roofing.

    Although it seems incredible that it must be said, keep in mind that you do not live only on the planet. That TV with the Ana Rosa program and the volume at the top bothers the neighbors. I had a coworker who put me on Pink Floyd daily at an exaggerated volume,

    I slept in the next cabin and couldn't think when I was there. One night while he was on duty, water fell into the stereo. It was never known where the water came from, but the rest of the campaign was shorter for me.

    Don't put dates. Always consider that you will return to normal in more time than expected. If you mentalize that everything ends on April 1, and then lengthens to April 5, those 4 days are hell.

    On the contrary, it does not happen. If you mentalize that you return to normal on 5, and in the end everything ends on 3, those days are a gift.

    Do not consider yourself as a disgrace to be locked up. Take advantage of the moment, live it as something you can not change, but you can turn into a new experience. And when you go out, enjoy.

    I add a little thing that I did not mention because here, at sea, routine is something that is taken for granted, but in a case like the current one, you have to believe it, you have to impose a discipline on yourself.

    It seems that this has gone viral (without ulterior motives), so I'm going to take the opportunity to drop the message. Do not forget these days. It is okay to applaud toilets, but it is better to help them in their fight to keep healthcare, public and quality, alive.

    And that, you all know how it is achieved.

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    Sapere aude Politesse's Avatar
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    Very good advice! I hope we haven't been overindulging in food, but we have been taking advantage of being home to devote more time to cooking good food. We had a full proper tea time this morning, something that hasn't been possible in months. I think confinement is a bit easier for my partner and I since we're kind of reclusive to begin with, but I am missing my classroom already, and I haven't even done a full week remotely yet! It feels strange reciting my lectures to a screen. My students were joking that I should put a picture of them all on my wall to lecture to, and I laughed.... but I'm seriously thinking about it!

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    It appears that the old American hardiness is being bred out of the culture.

    From numerous TV and radio shows it appears that any short term inconvenience brings on torrents of fear and anxiety. No ability to cope with he reality that existence on Earth is not a Disney happy cartoon or a Disneyland ride.

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    It would be difficult if I lived alone, but with four pets and a spouse, I don't feel at all isolated. Plus, so far our senior center is open. That might sound crazy but we never have that many people inside at one time and when we workout, we don't stand too close to each other. I only spend about an hour there three times a week. IF it closes, I will deal with it.

    I will visit my neighbor for about an hour a day, as she lives alone. We sit pretty far apart from each other and never touch. I always wash my hands before and after going anywhere. I"m actually more concerned about our frequent trips to the grocery store than these other things. Who knows who has touched the food right before me? Who knows how crowded the place will be? But, we are home bodies so the only thing we are giving up is our lunches out a few days per week. Instead, we can visit a park or the local botanical gardens or just sit outside and enjoy all the beautiful birds that visit our feeders. The parks here are never crowded and we have quite a few.

    Some people just can't stand being at home. Those are the ones who will have the most difficult time managing this isolation.

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    Veteran Member crazyfingers's Avatar
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    I've been working at home since about 2009.

    Before C-19: Typically I am home and only go out a couple times a week to pick something up at the store. When Dad died and mom moved mom to assisted living over an hour away I'd go visit on Saturday or Sunday. My wife has usually been at home except when she goes out for appointments or shopping. Kid off to school before I get up in the morning and get home around 3pm. Two cats with me in my basement office

    Present: Typically I am home and only go out a couple times a week to pick something up at the store. My wife has usually been at home except when she goes out for appointments or shopping. Kids have at least 3 weeks off from school and will be here all the time except if they go shopping with one of us. We've moved mom to assisted living only 5 minutes away so for so long as they still allow visitors, I'll be seeing her several days a week until such time that they stop allowing visitors completely. Two cats in the basement.

    For me I am less isolated now than I was before C-19.

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    Sapere aude Politesse's Avatar
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    I've certainly been enjoying having Adam around. I don't usually get to see my partner much during the week, with us both working full-time and in opposite commute directions. We've been trading off on the cooking, coming up with increasingly elaborate (and creative) uses for our remaining groceries. Tea time went from non-existent to one of the highlights of the afternoon.

    Already missing my classroom awfully, though.

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    I think that Covid19 will be much harder on extroverts than on introverts.

    I had planned to schedule routine medical check ups but will wait I think to do that. Same thing for yearly eye exam.

    Still in phase 2 of renovations and got a call from contractor who has been on vacation to ensure that we would be ok with them coming and that we were healthy. We discussed precautions such as disinfecting door handles, distancing, etc.

    Had to cancel a memorial for a family member who passed away recently. Lunch plans cancelled. Multiple friends on grandparent duty as their grandchildren's schools or daycares have closed. Parents still commuting to work which is frankly, insane for at least a couple of them. One kid's training coming up in April has been postponed indefinitely. Another kid's significant other is working from home as he is as well. Another kid quit the job that put them in a lot of public contact, so that's good but has kept one that keeps them in less public contact. We're quietly preparing to need to supplement some of the offspring's cash if this continues or gets worse. With the markets, we're not that thrilled at our own out look. Hubby may well keep on working longer than expected and it may be that I will end up doing something or other to turn a buck.

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    Veteran Member crazyfingers's Avatar
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    OK so Mom's new assisted living is now in lock-down. Glad we moved her this past weekend instead of next weekend. Mom is good at making friends. She would be fine and we can still call.

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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyfingers View Post
    OK so Mom's new assisted living is now in lock-down. Glad we moved her this past weekend instead of next weekend. Mom is good at making friends. She would be fine and we can still call.
    Glad your mom is safely moved and that they're on lock down. I know it's not pleasant and it will prevent you being able to be there in person to help her settle but it's safest.

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