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Thread: Home Schooling America's Youth

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    Lightbulb Home Schooling America's Youth

    Are you suddenly faced with home schooling your child? Consider the S/A Curriculum. It is no-frills and cuts to the essence of the academic disciplines.
    S/A = Streamlined and Adequate. The program derives from two key insights: first, that we eventually forget 90 to 95% of the data and text we encounter in our schooling; second, that an adequate education should be measured by the cognition of the average adult American. Doesn't it make sense that if your child can attain the academic skills of the average adult in our society, he or she can function successfully in America?
    The S/A Curriculum does away with the old telephone-book-sized courses of study and establishes a core baseline for each discipline. Best of all: YOUR CHILD CAN MASTER THIS CURRICULUM IN ONE DAY.
    That's not an exaggeration. The S/A vision statement: 'We give you all that you really need to know, and nothin' else.'

    Here is the entire S/A Curriculum, verbatim, for 6 key disciplines. Keep in mind, it is based on an analysis of the cognition of adequately functioning American adults.

    I. S/A Science
    1.(Blue state version): Take this balloon and demonstrate static electricity on your head.
    2.(Red state version): Science is a religion which, if you have Jesus, you can skip.
    3. EVOLUTION!! (Scared ya.)

    II. S/A English
    I before e, except after c, unless you are an heiress with a beige peignoir.
    Hamlet, by Shakespeare

    III. S/A History and Citizenship
    1. Columbus discovered America, except it was already populated and it wasn't Asia.
    (Special Utah version): Nephi discovered the New World, and his people became kosher Indians. Tomahawk circumcision is a bitch.
    2. Adobe = mud bricks.
    George Washington had funky teeth.
    3. Black history moment: Frederick Douglass has done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more. Martin Luther King freed the slaves. Harriet Tubman invented the peanut.

    IV. S/A Math
    Nobody ever divides a fraction by another fraction. Nobody ever finds square root of eleven. Nobody cares what x equals. The metric system blows.
    Buy a calculator for $5.

    V. S/A Spanish
    Hello: Hola
    Goodbye: Adios
    What the fuck: Ay que la chinga

    VI. S/A French
    Hello: Bonjour
    Goodbye: Adieu
    What the fuck: Putain de merde

    When your children demonstrate a mastery of the S/A Curriculum, your job is done, and so is theirs. Let them go back to their gaming devices.

  2. Top | #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by ideologyhunter View Post
    Are you suddenly faced with home schooling your child? Consider the S/A Curriculum. It is no-frills and cuts to the essence of the academic disciplines.
    S/A = Streamlined and Adequate. The program derives from two key insights: first, that we eventually forget 90 to 95% of the data and text we encounter in our schooling; second, that an adequate education should be measured by the cognition of the average adult American. Doesn't it make sense that if your child can attain the academic skills of the average adult in our society, he or she can function successfully in America?
    The S/A Curriculum does away with the old telephone-book-sized courses of study and establishes a core baseline for each discipline. Best of all: YOUR CHILD CAN MASTER THIS CURRICULUM IN ONE DAY.
    That's not an exaggeration. The S/A vision statement: 'We give you all that you really need to know, and nothin' else.'

    Here is the entire S/A Curriculum, verbatim, for 6 key disciplines. Keep in mind, it is based on an analysis of the cognition of adequately functioning American adults.

    I. S/A Science
    1.(Blue state version): Take this balloon and demonstrate static electricity on your head.
    2.(Red state version): Science is a religion which, if you have Jesus, you can skip.
    3. EVOLUTION!! (Scared ya.)

    II. S/A English
    I before e, except after c, unless you are an heiress with a beige peignoir.
    Hamlet, by Shakespeare

    III. S/A History and Citizenship
    1. Columbus discovered America, except it was already populated and it wasn't Asia.
    (Special Utah version): Nephi discovered the New World, and his people became kosher Indians. Tomahawk circumcision is a bitch.
    2. Adobe = mud bricks.
    George Washington had funky teeth.
    3. Black history moment: Frederick Douglass has done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more. Martin Luther King freed the slaves. Harriet Tubman invented the peanut.

    IV. S/A Math
    Nobody ever divides a fraction by another fraction. Nobody ever finds square root of eleven. Nobody cares what x equals. The metric system blows.
    Buy a calculator for $5.

    V. S/A Spanish
    Hello: Hola
    Goodbye: Adios
    What the fuck: Ay que la chinga

    VI. S/A French
    Hello: Bonjour
    Goodbye: Adieu
    What the fuck: Putain de merde

    When your children demonstrate a mastery of the S/A Curriculum, your job is done, and so is theirs. Let them go back to their gaming devices.
    This is much better than common core!

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