Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 31

Thread: When one is depressed is it true one turns inward. Is that necessary. Is it good to do so.

  1. Top | #11
    Mazzie Daius fromderinside's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Oregon's westernmost
    Posts
    12,546
    Archived
    18,213
    Total Posts
    30,759
    Rep Power
    57
    Being a good partner is important, most important from my experience. You've got relatively new thing in your life. No surprise it is the center or near center of what you are right now. The thing is whether she thinks your interest is is adequate and wanted. Really. That is the only thing you should be using as a compass. What you are working on will determine your life value.

    There will come a time when back and leg rubs become your contact sport.

  2. Top | #12
    Super Moderator Torin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    165
    Rep Power
    6
    In my opinion:

    Yes, people with depression naturally turn inward. They are searching their mind trying to figure out "what is wrong with me?"

    However, this is unhealthy and the wrong approach. They should be turning outward and asking "what do I need to do to reach my goals?"

    The first approach leads to endless rumination, which goes nowhere. The second approach leads to a plan of action based on facts.

  3. Top | #13
    Mazzie Daius fromderinside's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Oregon's westernmost
    Posts
    12,546
    Archived
    18,213
    Total Posts
    30,759
    Rep Power
    57
    Using Trump as an example I beg to differ. Random firings based on what one hears is no solution to anything. A flower following the movement of the sun would do better.

    I agree rumination is at the base of my criticisms of those who call looking inward instrospection.

  4. Top | #14
    Veteran Member TV and credit cards's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    muh-dahy-nuh
    Posts
    2,942
    Archived
    174
    Total Posts
    3,116
    Rep Power
    27
    Quote Originally Posted by fromderinside View Post
    so thick around me
    ^
    This is depression.

    There are no goals. There are no interests. There are no desires. There is just a paralyzed existence. Depression is heavy and consuming. It's when you've gone past, given up on introspection. Turn inward? Inward is the depression.

    It's swell when it goes away and you can just be down in the dumps again with the occasional spurt of ambition.
    Dwight

  5. Top | #15
    Deus Meumque Jus
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Canada's London
    Posts
    10,150
    Archived
    9,514
    Total Posts
    19,664
    Rep Power
    49
    Quote Originally Posted by fromderinside View Post
    Being a good partner is important, most important from my experience. You've got relatively new thing in your life. No surprise it is the center or near center of what you are right now. The thing is whether she thinks your interest is is adequate and wanted. Really. That is the only thing you should be using as a compass. What you are working on will determine your life value.

    There will come a time when back and leg rubs become your contact sport.
    Yea that's a big focus. Honestly? Completely crazy about her, and now more so as mother of my child.

    I'm not really one to look outward, I know what I have and am holding on tight. Including banging on a pot near her head about breast cancer check ups. That'll likely happen.

    I don't know that I'm depressed as much as in a malaise. I crave novelty like no other and find it hard to get. Fatherhood might just do the trick. Lately also embracing anyone willing to give me their attention.

  6. Top | #16
    Mazzie Daius fromderinside's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Oregon's westernmost
    Posts
    12,546
    Archived
    18,213
    Total Posts
    30,759
    Rep Power
    57
    Quote Originally Posted by rousseau View Post
    I'm not really one to look outward, I know what I have and am holding on tight. Including banging on a pot near her head about breast cancer check ups. That'll likely happen.
    Above is a point where looking inward can be counterproductive. Not a good idea to insert fear in others unwanted, especially when they are realistically concentrating elsewhere.

    First law of devotion is to be devoted. Being so is definitely not being fearfully obsessive about well being of the one to which devotion is aimed. Loved one, when truly in crisis, will give clues.

    For instance when bride began being fearful of going to a job she loved it was time to get her to share. Turns out all she needed was a person to shout at someone who was making things worse from a previous situation.

    Donned my superman suit. Got on the horn and berated person as a professional with elegant credentials. Admonished him for sloppy and childish behavior as an uncaring administrator. Made sure she heard.

    Amazing effect. Kind of like that of Mighty Mouse declaring "here I come to save the day".

    He was chastised. She was supported. Both worked things out nicely. Just a little demonstration of support, caring, and sensitivity were all she needed.

    Of course proper staging makes things work out.

  7. Top | #17
    Deus Meumque Jus
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Canada's London
    Posts
    10,150
    Archived
    9,514
    Total Posts
    19,664
    Rep Power
    49
    Quote Originally Posted by fromderinside View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by rousseau View Post
    I'm not really one to look outward, I know what I have and am holding on tight. Including banging on a pot near her head about breast cancer check ups. That'll likely happen.
    Above is a point where looking inward can be counterproductive. Not a good idea to insert fear in others unwanted, especially when they are realistically concentrating elsewhere.

    First law of devotion is to be devoted. Being so is definitely not being fearfully obsessive about well being of the one to which devotion is aimed. Loved one, when truly in crisis, will give clues.

    For instance when bride began being fearful of going to a job she loved it was time to get her to share. Turns out all she needed was a person to shout at someone who was making things worse from a previous situation.

    Donned my superman suit. Got on the horn and berated person as a professional with elegant credentials. Admonished him for sloppy and childish behavior as an uncaring administrator. Made sure she heard.

    Amazing effect. Kind of like that of Mighty Mouse declaring "here I come to save the day".

    He was chastised. She was supported. Both worked things out nicely. Just a little demonstration of support, caring, and sensitivity were all she needed.

    Of course proper staging makes things work out.
    Yea there was a bit of humor in there. We're pretty good with each other, with most things, but with cancer I've given her a few gentle reminders and prodding to take it seriously as the years roll.

  8. Top | #18
    Contributor DrZoidberg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Copenhagen
    Posts
    7,832
    Archived
    5,746
    Total Posts
    13,578
    Rep Power
    54
    Quote Originally Posted by rousseau View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DrZoidberg View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by fromderinside View Post
    It was true for me back in the day. I contend doing so is not necessary. But whenever I'm confronted with the thought I turn inward.
    I didn't. I'm an extroverted person. I just stopped doing things. Doing regular things became exhausting and I just didn't have energy. But I felt like I was in a good mood. I just didn't do stuff. According to my psychiatrist, that is also a normal form of depression. I should also add that he also said that he didn't think I had any depressive tendencies. I was just traumatised, and the depression came as a result of the trauma. Which was pretty extreme in my case. So it didn't need years of therapy to figure out that cause and effect.

    I wasn't suicidal and didn't have suicidal thoughts. I was pretty happy and cheerful about life. Just incredibly mentally tired all the time.
    These days I feel like I may be a functional depressive like this, in some respects. I have enough energy and motivation to do very well in day to day, critical tasks, but when it comes to pushing myself beyond boundaries to experience the world in any kind of joyful way, it's difficult.

    I rarely have the motivation to see friends, travel, go to movies, or really do much of anything other than hang out with my wife and read. Maybe it's just because those are the only two things I actually like doing? Who knows.
    Doing things that are familiar we do, very much, on autopilot. It's less taxing for the brain. The difference is what Daniel Khanneman calls "Thinking fast. Thinking slow". The fast system uses less of the brain. When we're put in a cat scan the slow system uses more of the brain. It's exhausting. But is whaty you use when learning new things.

  9. Top | #19
    Veteran Member Treedbear's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    out on a limb
    Posts
    1,705
    Rep Power
    16
    Quote Originally Posted by fromderinside View Post
    It was true for me back in the day. I contend doing so is not necessary. But whenever I'm confronted with the thought I turn inward.
    I think depression is due to being frustrated in fulfilling one's perceived purpose. Transcending then. Connecting the then of the past to a then of the future. If one lacks this perceived continuity it becomes difficult to see one's path forward. The result is immobility and lack of interaction with others. Of course life's changes can result in a lack of purpose (such as loosing a partner or going into retirement) without resulting in depression. Searching for purpose isn't depressing. Having found a purpose and then not finding a way to reify and fulfill it is.

  10. Top | #20
    New Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2020
    Location
    India
    Posts
    40
    Rep Power
    1
    Depression is a huge spectrum, ranging from feeling upset, hurt, or just lonely, right upto chronic and clinical depression. Obviously, if you are towards the right end of the spectrum, then it is far more serious.
    Humans are social creatures, by nature. We may end up doing a lot of things online and alone, but the fact remains that we need social contact, and human interaction fairly regularly.
    Yes, we don't want to be constantly bombarded by personal attention. But human interaction, especially if it is with people we like, and respect, very much can, and does, cheer us up.

    Introspection, IMO, is a different subject altogether. We can do it when we are happy, when we are depressed, or when we are somewhere in between.

    What we call "introspection", when we are depressed, IMO, is more like "wallowing in our misery". It is usually not productive. I would personally prefer talking it out.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •