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Thread: The Dumb Ass Thread

  1. Top | #11
    Content Thief Elixir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southernhybrid View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by DBT View Post
    I have looked for something that I was holding in my hand....beat that.
    I've done that too, so you are not alone.
    Old family story - I was about four, and had my mother, two brothers and a sister looking for my lost cowboy boots.
    When my mother finally found them - on my feet - I was so mad I hauled off and kicked her in the shins.
    I still lose stuff like that...

    Quote Originally Posted by Loren Pechtel View Post
    I've looked for my glasses--while wearing them. (In front of my eyes, not on my head.)
    Your eyes aren't on your head?
    Sorry - I can't beat that.

  2. Top | #12
    Fair dinkum thinkum bilby's Avatar
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    One morning I poured out an exact teaspoon full of milk, and very carefully, without spilling a drop, put it into the jar of instant coffee.

    In my defence, I hadn't yet had my coffee.

  3. Top | #13
    Veteran Member Treedbear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bilby View Post
    One morning I poured out an exact teaspoon full of milk, and very carefully, without spilling a drop, put it into the jar of instant coffee.

    In my defence, I hadn't yet had my coffee.
    It's a fact that it's not what you do so much as the order you do things in the order in which you do things.

  4. Top | #14
    Elder Contributor
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    I think it is amazing how pre-wired we are when doing stuff we think we are actually actively doing. I drove past the school that I'm supposed to drop my daughter off at simply because I was listening to NPR instead of music, which we usually do. Luckily, I figured it out very quickly and drove back around before my daughter asks, 'What are we doing?'

  5. Top | #15
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    I need to share my husband's stupidest act of the week. We went grocery shopping on Wednesday and he unloaded most of the grocery bags. Yesterday, I was taking something out of the freezer and didn't see the ground sirloin or two beef tenderloin steaks that I had picked out, so I asked him what he did with them. All of a sudden he had a look of disaster on his face, ran down stairs to the garage and came back shortly afterwards with a bag that contained the meat in it. "What are you going to do with me?", he asked.

    I told him that while I was sad that I wouldn't get to eat the delicious, organically raised meat, I suggested that he take the meat to the very end of our property and see if one of the wild critters might enjoy them, since they can tolerate such things better than we can.

    This morning there was no trace of meat where he had left it. My guess is raccoons were the benefactors of this high quality meat, since they frequently sneak into our yard late at night. I don't think the meat was ripe enough for vultures, although they would have certainly enjoyed such a tasty treat.

    Those poor little devils will probably never be get to enjoy filet minion and ground sirloin again because I will make sure that all meat is accounted for after our next trip to the grocery store. We spend enough money feeding the wild birds. The raccoons and coyotes are on their own.

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