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Thread: Joke gallery

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    Joke gallery

    Good, bad, funny or punny, all jokes are welcome. I'll start it out with an oldie but goody:

    Why did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
    He forgot to wrap his whopper.

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    Administrator lpetrich's Avatar
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    Re: Joke gallery

    From rehearsing a scene in ST:TOS "The Doomsday Machine". About that machine,

    Commodore Decker: "Jim, it was huge! It had a maw--"
    Captain Kirk: "A maw? Did you see its paw?"

    Recursive Science Fiction A
    Asimov, Isaac, "Dreamworld"

    Edward Keller, age 13, is an enthusiastic reader of science fiction. He is being raised by his aunt Clara who keeps telling him to "face reality." One night, his usual stfnal dream turns to horror as a myriad of huge Claras pursues him, telling him to "face reality." If he cannot awake, he will be trapped in a world of giant aunts!

    The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction 9:5 November 1955 (pg.127)

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    Re: Joke gallery

    This has been making the rounds on Facebook: 20 Jokes That Only Intellectuals Will Understand. Pretentious title aside, there are some groaners and some really funny ones in that list.

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    Fair dinkum thinkum bilby's Avatar
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    Re: Joke gallery


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    Mrs Frizzle gmbteach's Avatar
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    Re: Joke gallery

    Want to hear a dirty joke?

    The boy fell in the mud.


    Want to hear a clean one?

    He had a bath.

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    Mrs Frizzle gmbteach's Avatar
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    Re: Joke gallery

    A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand and says 'Make me one with everything'.

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    Member +or-1's Avatar
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    Re: Joke gallery

    Quote Originally Posted by gmbteach View Post
    A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand and says 'Make me one with everything'.
    The pizza we had for pi day yesterday was loaded. I told the wife it was a Buddhist pizza. She didn't get it. I explained it. She didn't laugh.

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    Senior Member dendrast's Avatar
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    Re: Joke gallery

    How many angels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    (Actually, I don't know. Maybe one, Lucifer the Angel of Light. This was my very first post on IIDB in 2004, even before I went to the Lounge. Seeing as this is a new forum, and I've never been afraid to reuse old jokes... I dreamt it up as a response to a fundy in-law who was testifying to me one day about a couple of angels who lifted a car off a little boy. She knew it was true, because someone had testified it to her. But now she's died of dementia.)

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    My Brane Hertz spikepipsqueak's Avatar
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    Re: Joke gallery

    A guy took his girl friend to her first Longhorn football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied,

    "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

    Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

    "Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: get the quarterback. Get the quarterback! It’s only 25 cents!

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    Fair dinkum thinkum bilby's Avatar
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    Re: Joke gallery

    Quote Originally Posted by dendrast View Post
    How many angels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    ...
    Two.

    But don't ask me how they got in there.

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