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Thread: Joke gallery

  1. Top | #1811
    Elder Contributor angelo's Avatar
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    Groan!

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    Veteran Member James Brown's Avatar
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    Welp, this summer is shot. Might as well put up the Christmas decorations and call it a year.

  3. Top | #1813
    Content Thief Elixir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James Brown View Post
    Welp, this summer is shot. Might as well put up the Christmas decorations and call it a year.
    Don't forget to vote. Early and often.

  4. Top | #1814
    Loony Running The Asylum ZiprHead's Avatar
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    When conservatives realize they cannot win democratically, they will not abandon conservatism. They will abandon democracy.

  5. Top | #1815
    Elder Contributor angelo's Avatar
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    What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
    One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

  6. Top | #1816
    Veteran Member George S's Avatar
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    Why did the electromagnet not care after being turned off?

    NO FLUX GIVEN


  7. Top | #1817
    Loony Running The Asylum ZiprHead's Avatar
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    Alabama teen pregnancy hits all time low as coronavirus halts family reunions.
    When conservatives realize they cannot win democratically, they will not abandon conservatism. They will abandon democracy.

  8. Top | #1818
    Elder Contributor angelo's Avatar
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    I thought that was New Zealand.

  9. Top | #1819
    Loony Running The Asylum ZiprHead's Avatar
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    Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago , another is from Tennessee , and the third is from Minnesota .

    All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

    The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

    The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

    The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

    "Done!" replies the government official.
    When conservatives realize they cannot win democratically, they will not abandon conservatism. They will abandon democracy.

  10. Top | #1820
    Elder Contributor angelo's Avatar
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    It's time for another Little Johnny joke..

    A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

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