Page 137 of 157 FirstFirst ... 3787127135136137138139147 ... LastLast
Results 1,361 to 1,370 of 1566

Thread: Joke gallery

  1. Top | #1361
    My Brane Hertz spikepipsqueak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    2,627
    Archived
    8,811
    Total Posts
    11,438
    Rep Power
    47
    Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason there are monsters hiding under the bed.
    My Brane Hertz

  2. Top | #1362
    Elder Contributor angelo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Western Australia
    Posts
    10,249
    Archived
    5,706
    Total Posts
    15,955
    Rep Power
    56
    After a man is ushered in to see a doctor, the medico asks: ' What can I do for you today?' The man replies: " It's my penis doc. " " Okay, pull down your trousers and let's have a look" says the medico. The man says, " only if you promise me you won't laugh"

    " Okay I promise I won't laugh, I'm a professional after all, nothing you show me about your penis could possibly make me laugh!"

    So after the man drops his trousers to reveal the tiniest dick the doctor has ever seen bursts into uncontrollable laughter. After composing himself he apologises and says : " I'm sorry, this has never happened before, now what's the problem?"

    The man replies, " it's swollen!"

  3. Top | #1363
    Veteran Member James Brown's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,681
    Archived
    5,844
    Total Posts
    8,525
    Rep Power
    54
    Quote Originally Posted by angelo View Post
    After a man is ushered in to see a doctor, the medico asks: ' What can I do for you today?' The man replies: " It's my penis doc. " " Okay, pull down your trousers and let's have a look" says the medico. The man says, " only if you promise me you won't laugh"

    " Okay I promise I won't laugh, I'm a professional after all, nothing you show me about your penis could possibly make me laugh!"

    So after the man drops his trousers to reveal the tiniest dick the doctor has ever seen bursts into uncontrollable laughter. After composing himself he apologises and says : " I'm sorry, this has never happened before, now what's the problem?"

    The man replies, " it's swollen!"
    It's a good joke, but I've heard it before with a female doctor. Does it work better that way, do you think?

  4. Top | #1364
    Veteran Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Location
    Layton, UT
    Posts
    1,134
    Rep Power
    7
    In ancient Greece, a man walks into a tailor to mend a tear in his pants.

    Tailor: Euripides?

    Man: Yeah, Eumenides?

    Tailor: Ok.


  5. Top | #1365
    Elder Contributor Keith&Co.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Far Western Mass
    Posts
    15,061
    Archived
    24,500
    Total Posts
    39,561
    Rep Power
    72
    Quote Originally Posted by James Brown View Post
    It's a good joke, but I've heard it before with a female doctor. Does it work better that way, do you think?
    A female doctor, and a bit more detail in her speech about how she's professional, she's trained to evaluate the medical condition, not the self-esteem or whatever elements of one's manhood, all that.

    And I prefer that she actually does NOT burst out laughing at first. It's difficult, but she's trying so hard not to embarrass him... Has to bite her cheek, maybe, but no outburst. So our sympathy is with her, trying so hard.

    THEN he says it's swollen...

  6. Top | #1366
    Veteran Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,249
    Archived
    3,288
    Total Posts
    4,537
    Rep Power
    51
    If you're going to make a novel out of this story why not digress a bit and have him, a Jew, discover that years before she, a Muslim, said that she would......
    Always knew I should have been a writer of fiction. Such inventiveness... a life wasted...

  7. Top | #1367
    Elder Contributor angelo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Western Australia
    Posts
    10,249
    Archived
    5,706
    Total Posts
    15,955
    Rep Power
    56
    Quote Originally Posted by James Brown View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by angelo View Post
    After a man is ushered in to see a doctor, the medico asks: ' What can I do for you today?' The man replies: " It's my penis doc. " " Okay, pull down your trousers and let's have a look" says the medico. The man says, " only if you promise me you won't laugh"

    " Okay I promise I won't laugh, I'm a professional after all, nothing you show me about your penis could possibly make me laugh!"

    So after the man drops his trousers to reveal the tiniest dick the doctor has ever seen bursts into uncontrollable laughter. After composing himself he apologises and says : " I'm sorry, this has never happened before, now what's the problem?"

    The man replies, " it's swollen!"
    It's a good joke, but I've heard it before with a female doctor. Does it work better that way, do you think?
    Come to think of it, it would be even funnier if the doctor was a woman.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Keith&Co. View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by James Brown View Post
    It's a good joke, but I've heard it before with a female doctor. Does it work better that way, do you think?
    A female doctor, and a bit more detail in her speech about how she's professional, she's trained to evaluate the medical condition, not the self-esteem or whatever elements of one's manhood, all that.

    And I prefer that she actually does NOT burst out laughing at first. It's difficult, but she's trying so hard not to embarrass him... Has to bite her cheek, maybe, but no outburst. So our sympathy is with her, trying so hard.

    THEN he says it's swollen...

  8. Top | #1368
    Elder Contributor angelo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Western Australia
    Posts
    10,249
    Archived
    5,706
    Total Posts
    15,955
    Rep Power
    56
    A Rabbi and a Priest buy a car together and it's being stored at the Priest's house. One day the Rabbi goes over to use the car and he sees him sprinkling water on it. The Rabbi asked, ''What are you doing?'' The Priest responded, ''I'm blessing the car.'' So the Rabbi said ''Okay, since we're doing that....'' and takes out a hacksaw and cuts two inches off the tail pipe.

  9. Top | #1369
    Veteran Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Maryland, USA
    Posts
    2,629
    Archived
    1,927
    Total Posts
    4,556
    Rep Power
    64
    Subject: Super Bowl LIII tickets

    A friend of mine has two tickets for Super Bowl LIII on Feb 3rd, both VIP seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

    It's at Holy Cross Church, on Lake Ave at 3pm. The bride's name is Julie, she's 5'8", about 115 lbs, black hair, very energetic, has two jobs, & is a very good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.

  10. Top | #1370
    Veteran Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Birmingham, Alabama
    Posts
    1,602
    Archived
    4,109
    Total Posts
    5,711
    Rep Power
    70
    People are shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.

Similar Threads

  1. Tell an offensive joke, go to jail
    By ronburgundy in forum Political Discussions
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 03-28-2018, 09:11 PM
  2. Today’s college students can’t seem to take a joke.
    By NobleSavage in forum Political Discussions
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 08-12-2015, 02:39 AM
  3. Working on a joke about libertarians.
    By none in forum Freethought Humor
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-18-2014, 03:59 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •