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Thread: Joke gallery

  1. Top | #1361
    My Brane Hertz spikepipsqueak's Avatar
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  2. Top | #1362
    Contributor angelo's Avatar
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    After a man is ushered in to see a doctor, the medico asks: ' What can I do for you today?' The man replies: " It's my penis doc. " " Okay, pull down your trousers and let's have a look" says the medico. The man says, " only if you promise me you won't laugh"

    " Okay I promise I won't laugh, I'm a professional after all, nothing you show me about your penis could possibly make me laugh!"

    So after the man drops his trousers to reveal the tiniest dick the doctor has ever seen bursts into uncontrollable laughter. After composing himself he apologises and says : " I'm sorry, this has never happened before, now what's the problem?"

    The man replies, " it's swollen!"

  3. Top | #1363
    Veteran Member James Brown's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelo View Post
    After a man is ushered in to see a doctor, the medico asks: ' What can I do for you today?' The man replies: " It's my penis doc. " " Okay, pull down your trousers and let's have a look" says the medico. The man says, " only if you promise me you won't laugh"

    " Okay I promise I won't laugh, I'm a professional after all, nothing you show me about your penis could possibly make me laugh!"

    So after the man drops his trousers to reveal the tiniest dick the doctor has ever seen bursts into uncontrollable laughter. After composing himself he apologises and says : " I'm sorry, this has never happened before, now what's the problem?"

    The man replies, " it's swollen!"
    It's a good joke, but I've heard it before with a female doctor. Does it work better that way, do you think?

  4. Top | #1364
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    In ancient Greece, a man walks into a tailor to mend a tear in his pants.

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  5. Top | #1365
    Elder Contributor Keith&Co.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James Brown View Post
    It's a good joke, but I've heard it before with a female doctor. Does it work better that way, do you think?
    A female doctor, and a bit more detail in her speech about how she's professional, she's trained to evaluate the medical condition, not the self-esteem or whatever elements of one's manhood, all that.

    And I prefer that she actually does NOT burst out laughing at first. It's difficult, but she's trying so hard not to embarrass him... Has to bite her cheek, maybe, but no outburst. So our sympathy is with her, trying so hard.

    THEN he says it's swollen...

  6. Top | #1366
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    If you're going to make a novel out of this story why not digress a bit and have him, a Jew, discover that years before she, a Muslim, said that she would......
    Always knew I should have been a writer of fiction. Such inventiveness... a life wasted...

  7. Top | #1367
    Contributor angelo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by James Brown View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by angelo View Post
    After a man is ushered in to see a doctor, the medico asks: ' What can I do for you today?' The man replies: " It's my penis doc. " " Okay, pull down your trousers and let's have a look" says the medico. The man says, " only if you promise me you won't laugh"

    " Okay I promise I won't laugh, I'm a professional after all, nothing you show me about your penis could possibly make me laugh!"

    So after the man drops his trousers to reveal the tiniest dick the doctor has ever seen bursts into uncontrollable laughter. After composing himself he apologises and says : " I'm sorry, this has never happened before, now what's the problem?"

    The man replies, " it's swollen!"
    It's a good joke, but I've heard it before with a female doctor. Does it work better that way, do you think?
    Come to think of it, it would be even funnier if the doctor was a woman.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Keith&Co. View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by James Brown View Post
    It's a good joke, but I've heard it before with a female doctor. Does it work better that way, do you think?
    A female doctor, and a bit more detail in her speech about how she's professional, she's trained to evaluate the medical condition, not the self-esteem or whatever elements of one's manhood, all that.

    And I prefer that she actually does NOT burst out laughing at first. It's difficult, but she's trying so hard not to embarrass him... Has to bite her cheek, maybe, but no outburst. So our sympathy is with her, trying so hard.

    THEN he says it's swollen...

  8. Top | #1368
    Contributor angelo's Avatar
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    A Rabbi and a Priest buy a car together and it's being stored at the Priest's house. One day the Rabbi goes over to use the car and he sees him sprinkling water on it. The Rabbi asked, ''What are you doing?'' The Priest responded, ''I'm blessing the car.'' So the Rabbi said ''Okay, since we're doing that....'' and takes out a hacksaw and cuts two inches off the tail pipe.

  9. Top | #1369
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    Subject: Super Bowl LIII tickets

    A friend of mine has two tickets for Super Bowl LIII on Feb 3rd, both VIP seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

    It's at Holy Cross Church, on Lake Ave at 3pm. The bride's name is Julie, she's 5'8", about 115 lbs, black hair, very energetic, has two jobs, & is a very good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.

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    People are shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.

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